I revisited my poem "Afloat" at my video: http://youtu.be/L29zCNYj5ss and wondered why it calms me so and where such abstract words came from inside of me to write. It is obviously free verse, with a hint of rhyme, but abstract, fluid terms.
My husband not understanding it, I had to wonder where this came from me...it flowed without much thought. I don't generally like to analyze poetry much, but I am curious from where this came from me. I tend to write quite matter of fact. I often used levity. I tend to overdo rhyme, and thoughts much more clarified than a free abstraction as this is. It seems strange the words can come, calm myself, and even wonder where the words came from inside myself!
I was listening to Andrea Carri's Storie di Naufragi-"A Story of Shipwrecks." I was musing of being on the sailboat I remembered taking photos of last year at the lake behind my son's dormatory in Madison. The float next to the boat came to mind, and the idea of just enough weight to keep the boat moored calmed me. Of influence would be a summer in college I worked at McKinley Marina at Milwaukee's lakefront. That was one of the most wonderful summers I've ever had. I was in a lone toll booth, collecting tolls from fisherman coming through and checking cars of membership who were coming through to take their sailboats out which were docked there. The sensations by the lake were wonderful-the sights, the sounds, the smells. The feel of the cool lake air. That type of calm came to me as I wrote this.
I suppose I thought of the forces within us and our spirits. The force of strength to keep our spirits up-afloat as with a buoy, waves, an anchol-all with force of their own but coming from within their own very nature. I felt a weight strong, hold enough to hold an anchor (principles and ideals which help us be strong emotionally), a weight, though, light enough that also keeps our spirits up, and within it we can feel calm and contented within our own selves.
Of course, there is the time we lose our way, a force that may take us into things other than circumstance we would choose-as with losing our moor and floating off aimlessly. I suppose I felt then, that same force within us-both strong and and light - would also be a guiding force if we look to it within us when we lose our way. I felt such a force as simply coming to us, and also from within our own minds through our own principles and beliefs. It is a thought of which Faith comes from. When we lose our moor, we look to our inner compass to find our way through hardship. Instead of fearing storms and such, we must keep to the positive. Glad for stars to guide as a compass should we not have one, which would liken to the values our parents instill in us. As with a child cold looking to a parent for warmth, we lift our faces into the sun. We trust they will bring us food, as though God comes and places a fish onto a hook for us, and to nourish us while we feed (in our feed is in the verbal form..."as we eat"). A type of faith and comfort is there-as we have with God. He will provide nourishment for our every need, fuel our spirits as though a fire to cook on actively.
The stars above are also a comfort as the dark comes at night, they come at their will, not our own. It depends on the weather, not a force we can control. So, the idea is that when the sky is clear enough for stars, we should acknowledge them in all they give us. Light beautiful, a sense of enlightenment, a sense of guidance as a compass to follow navigating a boat, and a sweet calm in the night to lull us into a sleep also so calming. The calm sleep brings us to feeling rested when we wake up, and wake, of course is also a word associated with boats and water. It is a trail that is a sign "we were there and moving forward."
The joys of which I partake--looking forward to the new day and all it brings. Such as reading a good book with a good plot, the activity of planning our day as though plotting a course. The curious destination came to me a bit surprisingly. I think it comes from the idea that if only we have faith, sometimes we lose our way, we may things we are experiencing bad circumstances, but to our happy and calm realize the circumstance we didn't plan may bring us to new opportunities that we may otherwise never have planned for ourselves. Such a blessing that is.
That is all I ask for within me, to recognize the good things that can come despite being other than I had planned. To keep faith that will guide me to waters calming--deciding which waters I "bask" in...do I decide a path afraid and of little faith or do I choose to trust my own ideals and principles to guide me not matter what, and to calm waters. So the all that I call my own is really, a sense of Faith, belief in oneself, for that is all any of us really own. Material things come and go, but who we are, what we choose to pursue, the principles and faith that guides us--that is the spirit and soul within us. The only thing we can really call our own-or to own up to in come cases, I suppose. And yet, enough faith in ourselves to join with others similar and not to feel alone, yet staying to our own principles and ideals, not fearing someone else can impose on us that which we do not believe in. We have freedom in both being alone, and in joining with others.
This seemed to me a faith inside, in oneself, and that we should be thankful-hence be thankful for the very breath that allows us to speak prayers of thanks, and to ascend to God above-or the universe-whatever you believe in. So, with all this, the faith, it is all like a prayer of content and of which at the end we feel calmed and site "amen."
I am comforted by something my husband says. He says that God knows what we pray for even before we speak it or even think it in more concrete form of prayer. This comforts me. God knows me so well, more so than of myself at times. If we are calm and faithful in ourselves, our own selves can make through life well, whether poor or rich, or sick or well, through tragedies which can also make us stronger. This is still somewhat abstract, but those with a faith within them would understand my thinking.
I see unrest, feel unrest within society, but must have that strength, strong enough to hold myself up, gentle enough to keep me grounded and yet fluid enough to change course in life should I need to. This is where this poem comes from inside of me. A curious destination for even me to think of!
I did not form these words with all such thought, but instead they came from within. And in that, I had faith, decided to put them down as is, and even publish the video to youtube without even watching it...having a faith that it may not be perfect, but that it would be a calming force, a place to revisit to reassure myself. And that is why I share such poetry, and art and such. We all need inspiration and assurance at times. I believe it is our place to not only look within to tend to our own needs, but also the needs of others. This is why I share writing and poetry and such.
Poem, Afloat: flowed from me furiously this morning so I barely could keep up typing, found images I'd taken, dropped them into a movie maker, added the words, dropped in Andrea Carri's "Stories of Shipwrecks", hit "publish" to youtube, had to go to bed and rest, to wake, and watch the poem to video and addition of music that I left to faith. I never watched until it was published.
I moved myself when I saw it...and was moved to devote it to all souls in Newtown CT and all souls who pray for them.
the poem in written form:
buoy to keep me afloat
calm waves to cradle my boat
weight on my anchor
keeping me to my moor
from adrift off into the sea
away and aimlessly again
compass to steer me from storms
sun from fears keep me warm
a fish to put on my hook
fuels of flames as I cook
nourishment in my feed
enriching my every need
bright the stars above lull
sleep in tales I dream of
the rest upon my wake
the joys in which I partake
the plot of navigation
to a curious destination
this is all of I ask of within
in which waters I bask
the all of that I call my own
and freedom from being alone
breath in prayers and
the ascent of
sent thank yous and